Feb 4, 2010

Publisher's Note:

Speaking the Languages of Love

Love is in the air, so they say as we get to February which is the traditional love month. As you window shop, heartshaped objects in flaming red dominates the displays of shopping malls, moreso, in jewely stores. In fact, more and more spouses are into purchasing pricey jewelry if only to express their love to their better half. Don’t get me wrong; I have done this for several years and it’s alright. The piece of precious stone or metal speaks for itself.
However, have we become too materialistic in expressing our affections? Are there other ways to nurture the relationship?
Prior to our wedding, our minister shared with me and Fanny the book, “The Five Languages of Love” written by Gary Chapman. The principles are so down-to-earth that they are doable. I firmly believe that communication plays a vital role in keeping the relationship vibrant and healthy.

 Based on his book, Chapman enumerates the five languages.

1. Words of Affirmation. This is where we utter those words of appreciation, praise, and encouragement. If we sow words that build up another person’s morale, definitely, we reap a positive response.  For example, “Honey, the adobo and pinakbet were so delicious. I liked it!” These are music to the ears of the listener. If there’s a situation to be thankful, verbalize it.

2. Quality Time. This language can never be overemphasized. Chapman states, “Quality time is about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is not quality time.” It is giving our undivided attention to our spouse.

3. Receiving Gifts. There are many individuals who can understand this language very well. It is simple and easy  but it is a powerful tool in communication. A gift does not only mean what we buy and give to our mate but it also refers to the gift of self.

4. Acts of Service. This language pertains to things that we do for our mate like washing the car, grocery shopping, fixing dinner, mowing the lawn and others. But when we do this, don’t expect something in return. These acts of service are expressions of unconditional love and must be performed out of the kindness of the heart.

5. Physical Touch. Humanly speaking, physical touch is a basic need.  “It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. The type of touch that makes you feel secure is not necessarily  what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical  contacts,” Chapman expounds.
Let’s enjoy the love month and practice speaking the languages of love!
Aloha and Mabuhay!

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